Anti-Bullying Expert Speaks with Parents and Students

 

Having spoken with more than one million students in the last decade, Mike Donahue told Schodack students he has learned an important truth about why some students bully and pick on others.

“Every person has a story,” Mr. Donahue said. “We disrespect each other because we don’t know each other’s story.”

Mr. Donahue, a national presenter on bullying, spoke to students at all three Schodack schools and parents on October 18. Judging from the hugs he received from students and the one-on-one conversations after his presentations, Mr. Donahue reached a lot of students.

“There is a lot of pressure on students,” noted Middle School Principal Michael Bennett. “Sometimes they lose focus that they’re often dealing with the same issues other students are. It’s important they realize they’re not alone and to seek help when they need it.”

Mr. Donahue was invited to speak at Schodack schools as part of proactive efforts the district has taken in recent years to help prevent bullying in schools. His visit to Schodack was sponsored by the Schodack Castleton Community Partnership.

At Castleton Elementary School, Mr. Donahue asked students gathered in the gymnasium what “respect” meant.

“Treating others like you’d like to be treated,” said one student.

“Don’t bully,” said another student.

“You guys really know what respect means. That’s great,” Mr. Donahue told students.

Mr. Donahue led students through a skit where someone was injured. While some characters didn’t help because they were too busy or didn’t know the student, one girl helped because it was the right thing to do.

When students were asked if they had hurt someone with their words, many raised their hands. Mr. Donahue encouraged students to stand up and apologize to the classmate or say something nice, which students eagerly did.

“Don’t forget the message of respect,” Principal Jason Chevrier told students at the end of the event. “We’re going to expect you to live that message each and every day.”

At Maple Hill Middle School, Mr. Donahue recalled his own childhood where he often was picked on for being different. He said if his classmates knew how difficult his family life was, they never would have treated him that way.

Mr. Donahue encouraged students to get to know classmates better and take a “walk in their shoes.” He noted that every day, 160,000 students in the United States stay home in order to avoid being picked on.

“People who are mean to each other, the thing is people don’t respect you for that,” Mr. Donahue said. “That’s why I came here today. There are students here, they act like it doesn’t hurt but they hide it. You call someone a name and they laugh. They laugh because they want it to stop.”

At Maple Hill High School, Mr. Donahue told students he was proud of them for simply coming to school because that in itself can be a challenge. Asking how many students had one of the worst days of their lives in the last couple of years, more than half the audience’s hands went up.

“You’re not just walking into a school. You’re walking onto a stage,” Mr. Donahue said.

Mr. Donahue then discussed the Columbine High School shooting in 1999. He noted that the students who planned it actually wanted to do far worse, killing hundreds by exploding bombs which failed to explode.

Stressing that he wasn’t defending the horrific actions of the shooters, Mr. Donahue read an entry from shooter Eric Harris’ diary which he found telling.

“He wrote ‘I hate you because you never invited me to anything fun.’ He was saying you don’t know me,” Mr. Donahue said. “It showed words matter. Words do more damage then people think.”

High School Principal Ron Agostinoni, who organized Mr. Donahue’s visit after seeing him present at another school, pointed to the students giving Mr. Donahue a hug and talking with him after his presentation.

“I think he really relates to the students,” Mr. Agostinoni said. “Students often don’t think of the ramifications of what they say.”